Loki: Valentines or Valisblot

Disclaimer: I own no one in here. I don't even own Loki's book. That’s property of Susanna Clarke and it’s a good read so far (even though I still have about 500 left)

A/N: This is a story based off of actual events. I thought this Valentine's Day story needed to be told. Originally this was going to be a Reader Insert, but it wouldn't have worked properly.  Valisblot was a Norse festival that would take place on February 14th. Oddly, it was actually supposed to celebrate another one of Odin’s sons. Is it sad that now it’s part of my tablet’s dictionary?

I gave Tony a Jaguar because I’m sure he has a bunch of different makes and models of cars.

I added the wheel shoes because they are both nostalgic and dangerous…

~~~~~

"Hey Reindeer Games!"

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, eyebrows furrowing at the sound of Stark's voice. He had recently started reading yet another piece of literature, this one being about the fictitious revival of English magic. ‘Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell’, being a 782 hardcover, would have made a wonderful weapon, were he not on probation.

"You up for some mingling?"

As of late, Tony Stark had taken it upon himself to train Loki to blend in. Despite the fact that the billionaire himself stuck out like a sore thumb, the scientist believed Loki needed to learn to be like an average human being. The last excursion he'd been subjected to was a trip to the supermarket, so who knew where he was going to be taken?

"Tomorrow's February 14th."

"I am aware of that fact; I do possess a calendar, and my cellular phone can supply that information as well. Is Valisblot considered to be a festival on Midgard as well?"

"Valis...what?"

"Valisblot," Loki repeated. "It is a festival we celebrate in Asgard. Does Midgard have an equivalent?"

"Does ValisBleh involve chocolates, lingerie, stuffed animals, cheesey cards, and astronomical VISA bills?"

"I do not understand," the demigod said, standing up after setting down his book with a thunk. "What type of celebration are you referring to?"

"Tomorrow's Valentine's Day," Tony explained, a hint of desperation in his voice. "It's a day where couples celebrate the fact that they love each other. I want to get something special for Pepper."

"And how does that involve me?" Loki mused, getting up and crossing his arms. "I shall assume that you have been prolonging your purchase and need to obtain a present as soon as possible."

"That's why I need you. You have a way with words. I need you to grab a card for Pepper while I hit a jewelry store."

Before he could refuse, Loki was dragged out of Avengers Tower, and into Tony's Jaguar.

~~~~~

"Welcome to Buy N' Stuff," Tony said as the pair drove into a parking lot. "It's a great way to get something on the cheap, and they have a pretty big card section."

"And how am I supposed to locate this illusive card?" Loki said, raising an eyebrow as he shrugged his shoulders. “Need I remind  you that I am not exactly entitled to an allowance?”

"Here," Tony sighed as he handed the demigod a twenty dollar bill. "That oughta cover it. I'm headed to the jewelers over there. Meet you at the front in an hour."

He smirked.

“And keep the change, Moocher.”

Loki managed to nearly get hit by three vehicles, four shopping carts, and a child wearing shoes with wheels concealed within the soles. Thankfully, he did manage to get to the store unscathed, but the black suit he was wearing was completely frazzled looking. He made an effort to smooth out the wrinkles, only to get his pant cuffs covered in slush after stepping in a puddle. This adventure was going just grand.

When he finally stepped into the store, it certainly did not remind him of Valisblot. Everything seemed to be red, pink, and white, and most of it sparkled in some way. Sweets filled the isles, along with stuffed toys and other trinkets. Children squealed in delight or screamed when denied candy. It was a living Hel.

The card section was, indeed, large. The messages were categorized by subject matter, then sorted furthermore with regards to whom it was to be sent to. It was a very complex system, but thankfully the Valentine's Day cards appeared to be separate.

Many Midgardians seemed to have already found their message of love since the space was surprisingly quite empty. He quickly browsed over some cards, gearing towards those labeled 'Romance.' Then, he saw it.

It was a bright orange card and was covered in fur. It bore huge googly eyes and paper teeth. It also had a section that said 'Press Me.' Loki decided to humour it.

The god of Mischief nearly screamed as it began to talk.

"That...thing...is terrifying!" (A/N: I actually said that)

Loki did not realize that an elderly gentleman was next to him, looking through the cards. Despite the fact that a fully grown man had just screamed, the stranger did not laugh. The Midgardian merely looked down at the card he was holding.

"Whom are you buying for?"

Loki had no idea why he was all of a sudden chatty.

"My wife."

"Your wife..." he replied, looking at the card. It was simple, with a dove and blue flowers on it. It bore some sentimental message on the front in gold leaf. It was something...his
Mother would have liked.

"It is quite nice," he said, attempting to sound decent. "I am sure she will love it."

"I just need to write something in it before I go to the cemetery."

Loki's Silver Tongue turned to lead.

"My condolences..."

The man had disappeared.

The Dark Prince looked about in confusion. The thought had never occurred to him about what someone would do if their loved one had already passed on. Judging by the amount of card types, Valentine's Day wasn't just about couples. There were cards for parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews and...siblings?

Thor would not have a Valentine this year. Jane had 'dumped' him, and therefore he would have no one to celebrate with. This Midgardian holiday would break his heart.

Quickly, he snatched a card identical to the stranger's and then headed towards another section.

~~~~~~

The next day, the Avengers Tower smelled of many chocolates. Tony had taken the liberty of buying discounted chocolates for everyone since calories apparently didn't count. Loki had realized that toffee flavour was not as appetizing as he had thought, and ended up making an exchange with Banner. Meanwhile, his Brother went into the kitchen.


Thor looked down at the table. On top was a package wrapped in the newspaper from the day before. A simple note was written on top, covering an advertisement for cologne.

'Happy Valisblot.'

Thor smiled as he opened the gift. A new box of Pop-Tarts was on the table. He immediately took out one of the foil wrapped packages and went to his Brother.

"Thank you, Loki," Thor smiled. "I appreciate the gift."

"Whatever do you mean?" the Dark Prince grinned mischievously. "Did you not know that the Magical Pastry Faery comes on Valisblot?"

Loki shuffled over on the couch he was sitting on. The blonde opened the foil and offered one. Perhaps love did come in different forms.

Loki grinned as he heard Tony yelling about why the Hel Loki had gotten Pepper a card that said 'To My Wife.' He held up what remained of his pastry towards Thor. Smiling, they mimicked a toast.

"Happy Valisblot, Brother."

~~~~~~~~~

FIN!